|
Getting Ready
Early Labor
Time to Go to the Hospital
Getting Admitted to the Hospital
Active Labor
Back Labor
Transition: Ouch
Show Time!
Pam finally stops talking
She's here!
Epilogue
Glossary
|
A Natural Childbirth Story
I was due on Monday, July 10, with my first baby. I didn't know if I
was having a boy or a girl, and I was very anxious for labor to begin. I
had been told, over and over, how most babies are NOT born on their due
dates, and that it's very common for first born babies to be late.
So I was kind of impatient, but kept telling myself just to relax and
wait, and to trust that my body would know when the time was right.
Thursday before my due date, I was having strong Braxton Hicks
contractions, and I left work a couple hours early. I went to my
scheduled prenatal appointment and Dr. Jackson told me, "Any day now!"
but she said there was no reason to check my cervix yet.
Friday I went to work (it was my last day before starting maternity
leave) and I did not have a single contraction all day! I was
disappointed...
Then Saturday I started having a few contractions here and there. They
felt like menstrual cramps. On Sunday, I began to lose my mucous plug,
and I was getting very excited. By Monday morning, I began to believe my
baby might indeed be the rare one who shows up right on time!
Monday morning the contractions were irregular but strong enough to
pass the rest of the mucous plug. By noon, they were happening regularly
enough that I called my doula, Karen, and told her that I thought I was
in early labor. She advised me to keep hydrated, eat lightly, but often,
and to get rest. My husband, David, who works from home, kept coming
over to the bedroom to check on me. He was finishing up one last project
before the baby was to arrive.
During the day Monday I was way too excited to just sleep. With each
contraction, I just kept on wondering how much progress I was making, if
any. I also did a little nesting here and there. Vacuumed the nursery
and ran a load of wash and did the dishes. Nothing major. The
contractions were getting closer and closer together as evening arrived.
By about 6 PM I was feeling distracted and irritable. I talked to my
mom on the phone and when I told her that I thought I was in labor, but
wasn't really sure, she asked me if the contractions were like anything
I'd ever felt before. I admitted that they were not quite like anything
I'd ever felt, and she thought I should get over to the hospital ASAP.
At that point, the contractions were still 10 to 15 minutes apart, and
were about 20 to 30 seconds long each.
I called Karen again, and she advised me to cool my heels at home.
She said that since I still could talk through the contractions, I was
probably still in early labor and would be more comfortable at home.
I began to have some diarrhea- another sign that labor was indeed in
progress. I was hungry and my in-laws came over with dinner for me and
David. But I was in a distracted and irritable mood and I didn't let
them come upstairs to the bedroom where I was hiding out. I'm sure they
understood.
The pains were getting more intense and closer together, but I was
still feeling like I could bear the discomfort without any special
treatment. By 9 PM or so, I called Karen once again and asked her what
she thought. I was still able to talk through the contractions, and she
said I sounded chipper enough that going to the hospital would be
premature. Instead, she suggested that I get a hot shower and then try to
sleep.
Meanwhile, David went to bed on Karen's advice as well. I told him I
was doing okay on my own, and that I would wake him if I needed him. I
reasoned that he would need some rest if we were going to have a baby in
the middle of the night, so I let him sleep until the contractions
seemed really close together and I wanted him to time them and to give me
emotional support.
Before I woke him up, I got into the shower, and put a little
footstool in the shower to sit on. I stayed under the hot water for
about an hour! It really felt great on the contractions. I keep
thinking, my god, I don't want to get out of the shower it feels too
good! But I was also kind of scared because it seemed like labor was
progressing a lot at that point, and I didn't want to deliver this baby
there and then by myself in the shower!
So finally I got out of the shower, and woke David up. We timed
contractions for a while. By now, it was after midnight so we knew that
our baby would not be born on her due date. However, we had to give her
credit for starting labor so promptly!
After about an hour, I went over to the bathroom and there was a lot
of bloody show when I wiped. Bright red blood! It alarmed me. I was not
aware that it was normal to have blood come out after the mucous plug had
passed, at least not in the early part of labor.
So we called the doctor, who agreed we should come to the hospital and
have my progress monitored and make sure that there were no
complications. We called Karen and told her that we were getting ready
to go to the hospital, but told her to wait to come because we thought
that the doctor would likely check my progress and send me back home.
But, if I was to stay in the hospital, we'd call her and ask her to
come.
We calmly gathered up our stuff. There was a lot of it-- 6 pillows, a
birth ball, David's clothes for the hospital stay, my clothes, the baby's
clothes and diaper bag! We called our parents and told them that the
time had come, we were Going To The Hospital. It was exciting for us,
and I felt really pumped up that something was really happening. At the
same time, I felt a little scared of going to the hospital. I'd wanted to
labor at home for as long as possible, but I wasn't sure where I was in
labor yet. I had no idea what was to come.
David drove nice and slowly to the hospital for me. When the
contractions came, I breathed slowly in through my nose, and slowly out
through my mouth. This seemed to make them tolerable, and I felt like I
was in control.
At the emergency room, they admitted me to the hospital in what seemly
like a leisurely manner, especially when they heard that it was my first
baby. Apparently most first time moms get sent back home-- especially in
the middle of the night when the attending physicians are not around.
I was wheel chaired up to my room where they introduced me to the
resident doctor, Dr. Wilson. I didn't especially like her, but was
anxious for my cervix to be examined so I could find out if I was to go
home or to stay. She decided it was appropriate to check my placenta to
make sure it was not blocking the cervix (remember the bloody show was
why I'd decided to visit the hospital). A quick ultrasound confirmed
that the placenta was high up and not at all a problem.
Then she did the internal exam and declared me to be in active labor,
as I had dilated to 5 centimeters. I was not going to be sent home-- I
was staying in the hospital. I was quite excited about this, and we
called Karen and told her to come right away. She said she was on her
way, and asked if there was anything we needed her to bring, besides her
usual labor equipment. I asked her to bring a hoagie, because I was
getting really hungry! But of course, the hospital's policy is "no food."
Dr. Wilson then came in and asked me if I wanted to get an epidural.
No thank you, I said, I think I'm doing fine without one. She seemed
sort of surprised, and left the room. Then it was just me and David for
a little while, trying to pass the time. I felt a little silly being in
the hospital, but I was glad to know that my baby was fine and that I was
progressing.
A nurse came in and said she had to start an IV. I didn't like that at
all, because I wanted to walk around to pass the time and help labor
along. I was starting to have some significant back labor, and David was
helping me by pressing on some acupressure points that we'd practiced at
home. These points really did provide relief from the pain. We finally
agreed to the IV though, because I have tough veins to stick and we
didn't want to be bothered with getting the IV under an emergency
circumstance.
By now, I was starving. I really wished I had stayed home longer and
eaten more of that chicken salad that my inlaws had brought over! By the
time Karen arrived, I was grateful for the assistance. I was having some
really strong back labor pains. Because of this, we figured out that the
baby was in a posterior position, with the back of her head against my
spine.
I'm convinced that my baby was posterior for most of my labor. The
back pain was awful. I labored a lot on my hands and knees, squatting on
a birth ball in a hot shower, and also walking around helped. Also,
squatting with one foot on a bench, and the other on the floor, seemed to
ease the pain. I followed the pain and did what I could to ease it by
changing position. Finally, after one very strange feeling contraction,
I felt the baby turn inside of me. After that, the back labor was over,
and I began to progress in dilation more.
This was probably why labor turned out to take so long for me. I was
at 6 centimeters when Dr. Wilson checked me at 6:30 AM. I don't remember
all of the details of that part of labor clearly. I do remember cracking
a lot of jokes and laughing hysterically. I also remember Karen and
David applying a lot of counterpressure to my back. I spent a long time
on my hands and knees, and also on the birth ball, squatting. We walked
some up and down the halls and I convinced Dr. Wilson to let me take a
shower. She didn't want to let me take a long shower, because she was
afraid I would go through transition! Well, duh, that's what I was hoping
for!
Dr. Wilson only wanted me in the shower for 5 minutes. What the heck
was that? I didn't need to wash my hair in there, I needed it for pain
relief and relaxation. I ended up spending about 15 minutes in there,
and then it was back to bed and onto the monitors again. As the morning
wore on, I was working pretty hard. I felt like I was progressing. I
was checked some time later that morning and had dilated another
centimeter. I remember thinking before that, that I was about to go into
transition. The nurses said I wasn't, and Karen and David just listened
to me and asked why I thought that's where I was? I said, "sudden
emotional change!!!" And starting bawling, I mean really sobbing. I did
not feel sad. I just felt weird and shaky and like I needed to cry a
whole lot. Then I started laughing hysterically. It was a very emotional
part of labor for me! I had no particular thoughts going through my mind
at that point, just suddenly urges for these expressions of emotion. I
can't recall what was funny-- I just felt like laughing, hard. Karen and
David stuck by me. They looked on with what seemed like amazement. Here
I was, after many hours of labor, sitting on my birth ball, alternately
bawling and cracking up. But, alas, the emotional interlude was not
transition.
Transition began around 4:30 PM. I remember this because although I
had not been aware of the time for a long while, I was looking at the
clock, wondering how much longer I would have to endure the pain.
Transition was the cruel part of labor. It was long, intense
contractions, one on top of another, that made me howl and bite David
whereever his flesh was exposed to my mouth. I sobbed during this part of
labor, I yelled, I moaned and David swears I also screamed. This would
make sense because it was really quite painful. But I found that
screaming did not help with the pain. I was still using the same
breathing pattern-- as much as I could. When I was breathing out,
though, it felt more like I was just forcing air out of me into some kind
of arena where air was not welcome. I remember making blowing sounds with
each breath, and I remember the way it felt to be trying so hard just to
breathe slowly and relax.
Relaxing when you are in such pain is not easy. It seems impossible,
in fact. Instead, I would just describe what I was doing as enduring and
trying to cope. There were times during transition that I was sobbing,
and David was too. I don't know what he was feeling at that time. I was
not really aware that he was crying until afterwards, and he told me that
he cried too. I remember being grateful for his arms holding me, for the
smell of his hair close up. I had my arms draped around his shoulders, I
think, and I was just hanging on, clinging to him, in hope that it would
help me through it. I don't know if Karen was rubbing my feet or my
back, but I remember loving the hot rice sock for quite a long time. (A
doula trick: Get a clean, thick, cotton tube sock, and fill it with
plain uncooked rice, and tie off one end... microwave it for 2 minutes,
and it makes a great hot compress).
I remember saying, "PRESS!" When I wanted more pressure and "LOW!"
when it needed to be lower, and "HIGH!" when it needed to be higher. ONE
syllable was all I'd manage to get out, but in my mind, there were still
plenty of words. In between some of the contractions, I still felt
HUNGRY! I didn't get to a point where I felt nauseous like some people
describe. I kept thinking of Dr. Harden and how she had admonished me
that I wouldn't be thinking of food during labor. Boy, was she wrong!
Food was practically all I thought about for most of labor.
However, during transition, I did not feel as hungry. In between
contractions, at some point, I did remark "The pain wouldn't be so bad if
I wasn't so F*CKIN' HUNGRY!" but that was not during transition. That
was earlier.
Anyway, once the evil contractions subsided, I felt ok. I felt like I
had weathered a tremendous ordeal, and needed to catch my breath. I also
felt a little like pushing, or so I thought. By this time, Dr. Jackson
was on call. She was called away from her sandwich and came and checked
my progress. Way to go! I was 10 cms and completely effaced!
Well, with that pronouncement, it was show time. Everyone got quite
serious. A bassinet was wheeled into the room. I was excited to think
I'd soon be supplying that bassinet with a baby! Dr. Jackson got all
dressed up in her scrubs, and a little table of doctor equipment was
wheeled to her side. Some of the stuff on her tray scared me. I still did
not want an episiotomy, I told the doctor that I'd rather tear a bit, if
needed. She agreed to help as much as she could, to stretch me, etc.
Unfortunately, I was expected to push this baby out in the traditional
"lithotomy" position, meaning on my back, with my feet in stirrups or
else holding up my own legs with my arms. I had been laboring, at that
point, for more than 24 hours, if you include the early labor when I was
having contractions 10 minutes apart. I'd been on my hands and knees for
much of that time. Not to mention the fact that even at my best
strength, my legs are darn heavy and my arms not that strong. So that
position was uncomfortable to me. I tried, but made no progress like
that.
Actually, one really neat thing that I did during that time, was to
push hard enough to finally break my bag of waters. When that happened,
it was comical. It was a POP and splush! GUSH of water came running out
of me. It seemed like everyone cheered, although I got the floor all wet
and several nurses were soaked as well. But other than the water
breaking, they felt I was taking too long. And I didn't want to stay in
lithotomy; it was too tiring.
So they put together the bed with a squat bar. This also did not
really seem to help much. I never thought that so much upper body
strength would be needed to have a baby! My arms felt weak, and I felt
ineffective. My spirits started to sag. I wanted to be on my hands and
knees again, where it felt the most effective to push. So, naturally,
the whole team was convinced that I would push like that, at least for a
while. That was how I got Clara down from 0 station to travel down the
birth canal some.
At some point, however, Dr. Jackson simply said that she did not know
how to deliver a baby in that position. I'd made a lot of progress, but
still had several more pushes before the baby would be out. It seemed
non-negotiable. They turned me back over again.
There was a nurse named Judy who was doing something to me that felt
like she was jabbing my vagina with long fingernails. It was irritating
but somehow it also helped me to focus on where to push.
After pushing about 15 more times, each one more grueling than the
next, her head was showing once again. I reached down, at someone's
urging, and felt the hard top of my baby's head, just an inch or two
inside of me. It was amazing. I can't remember how it felt, exactly, to
have a baby so close to being born, inside of me. It felt strange,
uncomfortable, I suppose quite painful. I was very ready for her to come
out, then. I just had to find the strength inside of me to push her out
at last.
At this point, I could not speak at all. I was incapable of
articulating anything. I would motion to David, with my hand pointing to
my mouth, to give me some ice. One of the nurses had put a little apple
juice in my ice so I could enjoy that flavor instead of icky hospital
water. I also had a lollipop, though I was forbidden to keep that in my
mouth while pushing. I guess it was a choking hazard.
So I was struggling with my energy levels, searching for some hidden
source of strength from within. I remember calling out to my ancestors,
to dead relatives in the beyond, asking to lend me some of their
other-worldly strength. Of course, this was all in my mind, since I
truly could not speak a word during the intensity of second stage labor.
I really needed help. I was being required to deliver in the lithotomy
position, but I could not hold my legs up on my own, and the stirrups of
the birthing bed that I was in, were broken. So David and Karen each
took charge of a leg! I pushed with all my strength, into their
supporting arms.
To help inspire me to push, the nurses set up a mirror opposite me. I
could see myself widening to allow the baby passage. I knew she was
going to be born soon, but I was awfully tired. The nurse, I think it
was Judy, kept poking at me, trying to get me to focus on pushing out the
baby. When a contraction would come, the whole birth 'team' would begin
to coach me- deep breath, hold it, push! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! Another
breath! Again! Hold it! Push!
And with this 'purple faced pushing' I delivered my daughter. I
watched as first her head emerged. I saw in the mirror, her tiny head
come out and Dr. Jackson gently cleaned out her nose and mouth.
Throughout my pregnancy, I had been convinced somehow that I was carrying
a little boy. So, not knowing I had a girl, when I saw her little head,
I exclaimed, "There he is!" Then, another little, easy push and out
came the rest of her beautiful, bright red little body. She made two
tiny little cries, Wah, Wah, and she was plopped down on my (very mushy)
stomach, where nurses wiped her down and swaddled her in a baby blanket.
She was handed over to me, to nurse. I stared into her alert, wide open
blue eyes, marveled at her blond hair, and cried out in wonder: "It's
Mini-me!" laughing in joy and wonder.
I took this tiny, blood covered, meconium stained baby in my arms and
tried to apply my limited knowledge of breastfeeding to the hands-on
course. At first, I couldn't get her latched on. I called over to
Karen, please help! And she did, she adjusted the angle of the baby's
head, and soon Clara was nursing and I was ecstatic. I had my little
angel in my arms at last.
David was soon on the phone, calling our parents to tell them of the
birth of their new granddaughter.
The incredible joy of having accomplished the natural childbirth that
I wished for, along with the sheer wonder of this new little person in my
arms was ample distraction for me as Dr. Jackson carefully stitched up my
small tear. A very funny moment happened when I stopped Dr. Jackson
before she could start working on my tear and I said, sincerely, that
although I had wanted a natural childbirth, that I would definitely like
some local anesthetic before she stitched me up. She smiled, OF
COURSE!!! Did you think I would be so cruel as to sew you up with no
anesthetic??? Although I had been completely brave during the long labor
and delivery, I was terrified of getting the stitches. I said, wait, how
do I know I am numb? Dr. Jackson said, Can you feel this? Yes, I said,
in a terrified and shaky voice. What do you feel, she said. Just
pressure, I said. She smiled, and said, well that's going to be the
worse of it- What you are feeling is the needle. Can you handle that?
Sure... go ahead, sew me up!
After a while, the nurses wanted to weigh Clara and measure her, and
do whatever routine things they do to new babies, including assessing her
with an Apgar score (9- very good). I felt so alone all of sudden.
David and Karen had gone with the baby to the nursery, and I suddenly
realized that I was naked, and even a little chilly. "Someone get me
something to cover me with! I am naked!" I had been unaware of being
naked during the labor and delivery, but now that it was all over, I was
all too self-conscious.
But soon after that, the nurses brought the baby back to me, Karen
said goodbye and wished us well, and David accompanied me to our recovery
room. My mother and father in law were waiting to see us. They were
thrilled that we had a girl. I was too. When Dr. Jackson proclaimed,
It's a Girl!, I could not believe it. David had a double-take too,
because he didn't hear right at that moment, and had to ask for a second
answer, do we have a boy or a girl? I remember thinking, oh this is
good, we don't have to concern ourselves with circumcision. Also, we
didn't really have a boy's name picked out. So, Clara was most welcome.
We named her Clara Marisa, and my mom was thrilled and touched to have
her granddaughter carry her name as a middle name.
Today as I finish writing down this tale, Clara is 4 months old. She
is a wonderful baby, and I believe we are truly blessed. The story of
her birth will be one that stays with me always.
0 station:The "station" of the baby refers to where
in the birth canal the baby's head is. It goes from -3 (floating, in the
amniotic sac) to 0 to +3, (I think). At +3 station, you could see the
top of the baby's head sticking out of the mom. I am not sure about this
exactly- it might actually go to +4. (Whatever. "0 station" means she
was smack dab in the middle- her head was some where in the middle of my
pelvic bone, and not going anywhere for a while. Yikes!)
acupressure: By applying pressure to specific areas of
the body, pain can be relieved.
bag of waters: Also known as the Amniotic sac, which is
filled with Amniotic fluid. The fetus lives in this fluid.
birth ball: Also called an exercise ball. This ball is a large
rubber ball, inflated enough to be able to support a person sitting on
it, or leaning on it. It is a soft place where someone can lean for
support.
Braxton Hicks: These are so-called 'false' contractions,
sort of "practice" for the uterus to contract.
cervix: The cervix is the opening to the uterus. It is
like a neck, and
has to both thin and open (dilate) to approximately 10 centimeters
diameter to allow the fetus's head to pass through.
dilation: The term is used to describe the opening of
the cervix.
doula: A doula is woman trained to support a woman and
her partner in
labor. She will provide support, massage, encouragement, and information
to the couple to help them achieve the birth in the manner that the
couple wishes.
effaced This term refers to how thin the cervix is.
epidural: The epidural (sometimes called a spinal) is a
popular
method of anesthesia in which the laboring woman is blocked from feeling
anything from the waist down. This means that she will not feel the
contractions as pain, but more like pressure. While many women sing the
praises of the epidural, it can have dangerous side effects for the fetus
and is a risk factor for a C-section. Drugs administered by epidural
have also been linked to 'sleepy' babies who cannot latch onto the breast
well in the first days of life.
episiotomy: A controversial procedure which involves the
doctor
cutting the mother's perineum in order to allow the baby's head to pass
more quickly through the vagina.
mucous plug: The cervix has a plug which deteriorates
and falls away during early labor.
natural childbirth: By natural childbirth, I mean that no drug or
surgery was used to give birth to the child.
posterior: The orientation of a fetus in utero can be in
several
different ways. A posterior baby would have her head facing down, but be
rotated so that her back of her head is against the mother's spine,
causing the mother back pain.
transition: Transition is the part of labor in which the
cervix dilates from 8 to 10 centimeters.
|